Starting Fresh
by grrawr
Summary: Draco Malfoy knew he was dying. Post war; follows Harry and Draco as they go from friends to something more. Oneshot. Character death. Thanks a million to my lovely betas Unsuspected and purplecrown14.


**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter, the world and its characters all belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing, and make no profit, no copyright infringement is intended.

Draco Malfoy knew he was dying.

"What is it?" he could hear the Healers whisper.

"We don't know," the Mediwizards would murmur back, sounding worried.

He slipped in and out of a fitful sleep, only waking to have potions slipped down his throat or healers harass him with questions. Who was it? How did it happen? What curse was it? Draco shook his head each time a question was asked. "I don't know," he'd cry truthfully until Harry shot the Healers the dirtiest of looks and forced them out of the room.

"It'll be okay, love," Harry would croon, stroking Draco's hair and pressing light kisses on his hands and face. Harry had been there from the beginning.

xXxXx

After the war ended, Draco had enrolled in Auror training, much to the surprise of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.

"_You're _our roommate?" Ron asked incredulously, his eyes narrowing.

"Careful there, squint anymore and you'll be mistaken for a weasel," Draco said.

"Better a weasel than a ferret," Ron shot back. Draco simply shook his head and continued to unpack as Harry watched in confusion. _Was that…a smile? The __Draco I knew __would have put up a fight, _he thought, _could it be that Draco had changed? _Suddenly, Harry was glad for the good word he had put in for Draco and his mother.

Inside his head, Draco was fighting another battle entirely. The Ministry had confiscated the Malfoy Manor for investigation, and frozen most of their accounts. But if it hadn't been for an anonymous testimony, the Malfoy family would have been in even worse trouble. Surely they would have been sent to Azkaban in the blink of an eye. While his parents went off to Paris in hopes of starting anew, Draco stayed behind with similar dreams. Unfortunately for Draco, everyone still saw him as Malfoy, ex-Death Eater, not Draco, a young man who was trying his hardest to put the past behind him and make a difference in the world.

Over the course of a few months, Draco had proven to be not so bad after all, and had gone out of his way to be pleasant to everyone. The odd change in behavior awakened much curiosity. Ron, who was naturally suspicious of his complete turnaround, had taken a little longer to come around, but eventually warmed up to his former enemy. The three roommates had formed a surprisingly strong friendship, putting the past behind them for good.

"Ugh," Ron groaned, "I forgot to wash my clothes again. And I have a date with Hermione in fifteen minutes."

Harry looked up from the Prophet and laughed, "_Again_?"

"What d'you mean 'again?'" asked Ron, "it's only the second or third time!"

"Yeah, this month," drawled Draco from an armchair by the window.

Ron laughed, "All right, all right. _Fine_. Draco, may I?" Ron stepped towards Draco's closet and grinned. Draco waved leisurely, making it evident that this was a normal routine, "Thanks a ton, mate," Ron beamed.

"Just don't let her slobber all over my clothes like last time!" Draco called as Ron ran to the bathroom to change.

"How do I look?" Ron asked nervously looking at himself in the full length mirror.

Harry gave him an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "'Hermione'll love it."

"It's not fair," Draco pouted, "My clothes always help you, but they never seem to work for me."

Harry stared at Draco in confusion. "Girls are always over you!" he cried, sounding oddly annoyed. "How could they not be?" His face flushed scarlet as he realized what he had said.

Luckily Draco didn't seem to notice, "Oh _them_," he said, brushing the thought away carelessly. "They aren't exactly the sort of people I'm looking for."

"Don't worry, mate," Ron said, patting Draco's shoulder. "You'll find your girl someday. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better go pick _mine _up. She promised to hex my bollocks off if I'm late again."

Harry laughed, "I'm sure she likes them too much to do that," he called after Ron, whose ears lit up bright red.

"Really, Potter?" Draco asked, his eyebrow raised expectantly.

"Yes really," Harry replied defiantly, sticking his chin out.

"If you're trying to seduce me, it's not working," Draco replied after a moment, and returned to his novel.

xXxXx

Upon graduating from training and becoming full-fledged Aurors under the wing of Kingsley Shacklebolt, Harry and Ron were separated. Instead of being Ron's partner as he had expected—who hadn't?—Harry was paired with Draco, and although at first disappointed, Harry discovered that they were a much better fit than he'd anticipated. After a few assignments as partners, Harry was somewhat excited to move into the Ministry provided flat just outside of London.

"Hmph," he murmured to himself, surveying the bare rooms and the slightly unpacked boxes.

"You okay?" Draco asked, tentatively stretching his hand out to touch Harry's shoulder. Harry shook his head, sending his hair flying as Draco quickly pulled away.

"Nah. It's just that- I've never really roomed with anyone other than Ron. It'll be weird waking up and knowing that he's not in the next room, or not seeing him in the next bed."

"You knew it had to happen sometime," Draco laughed, "What did you plan on doing, marrying him?"

Harry chuckled, "Nah, Hermione'd probably hex my bollocks off."

"Oh, that's something I'd want to see," Draco said, smirking, before the wards went off. He left to see who was at the door, leaving Harry to ponder the possibilities of what he'd meant.

Harry's stomach began to grumble as he looked up from a case file and realized that it was nearly time for dinner. He remembered seeing a Chinese take-away place on the way in Draco liked Chinese food. "Draco?" he called, getting up from his desk. When no one replied, he wandered around the new flat calling, "Draco?" Harry had nearly started to panic when he noticed a note on the table.

_Went out with a friend. May not be back until later. Don't bother waiting. –Draco_

Harry let out a breath he hadn't know he was holding. _Of course you're disappointed_, Harry told himself unconvincingly, _you were expecting to eat with a friend. It's always more enjoyable to eat with friends. _He sighed again and sat down at the table, burying his head in his arms. "What's wrong with me?" he asked no one in particular.

xXxXx

Bang,bang,bang. "'Arrryyyy!" A particularly loud noise and what sounded like a mournful cat jolted Harry from his sleep.

"Eh? Wha-"He looked at the half finished pizza on the table and his aching back and realized that he'd fallen asleep mid-meal.

"I-I can't remember how to get back in," the voice said remorsefully. "I bet he's mad at me for some reason." He grew quiet. "Do you think he caught me staring at his arse again? It's not my fault really, I can't help—Harry!" Harry opened the door to find an extremely drunk, yet surprisingly coherent Draco standing on the doorstep.

"Err. Hey Draco," Harry sputtered. He'd never seen the blonde's eyes so alive. They were like two twisting silver dragons, drawing him closer, and closer, and—no. Harry shook his head violently. This was Draco Malfoy, his completely _straight _friend.

Things with Ginny had soured after the war, and seeing Draco in such a state did strange things to Harry, but no, he didn't like Draco in _that _way, they were only friends. That was all. Really. _Right?_"Uh, who'd you go meet?" Harry asked, desperate for a distraction.

"Pansy," Draco sang in a slightly intoxicated voice.

_How dare she take _my _Draco? _The voice in his head screamed. "Oh," Harry said in an attempt to sound casual, pushing away the thoughts of jealousy, "How was the date?"

"Date?" Draco asked, "Naww, just Pansy for a couple o' Firewhiskies to celebrate moving in, y'know?"

"But I thought you and her…"

"Pft, Potter, are you really _that _daft? I thought you of all people would've been smart enough to figure it out." Harry narrowed his eyes. Was that a compliment, or… "I'm gay, Harry. G-A-Y, gay, with a capital guh,"

Harry stared at him; surely it was just the alcohol talking. "We need to get you to your room Draco," he said after a moment, and stepped forward to help Draco wobble his way through the flat. "I guess that's it then," Harry said as he helped Draco sit down on his bed, "I-I guess I'll see you in the morning," Harry turned to leave, but felt an insistent tug on his trousers.

"Stay with me please?" Draco asked, smiling hopefully at Harry, his innocent silver eyes shining.

"Oh, er, no, I—I don't think that's a good idea."

Draco's eyes darkened. "You're mad at me aren't you?" He accused, "you're mad cause I kept looking at you when we were moving in. _I'm _not the one who insisted we do it the Muggle way and actually carry the boxes. _I'm _not the one who took his bloody shirt of and showed off his tan lean muscles, and—" he paused and looked up at Harry hungrily, licking his lips.

Draco pulled Harry down towards him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him. Harry's first thought was to pull back, but he found he was enjoying himself, a little too much maybe, and allowed Draco to deepen the kiss. Harry's tongue curled as he tasted the alcohol that lingered in the blonde's mouth and smiled at the hint of cologne that was distinctly Draco. Draco pulled back first, panting, and when he saw Harry hadn't made any motion to leave, he began to kiss him again, this time more insistent, each kiss quick and anxious, leaving Harry yearning for more. Suddenly Harry's conscious caught up with him. "No, no, no," he murmured between kisses. "No!" a thoroughly confused Draco was pushed away.

"But you—I thought—" His gray eyes looked cold and hurt.

"Draco, I—I care for you a lot, but I'm not going to take advantage of you like this," Harry said slowly, not believing that he was throwing his chance of a lifetime away.

"It wouldn't be taking 'vantage," Draco hummed, leaning forward to lap at the delicate skin on Harry's neck, smiling as the brunette shuddered and moaned unashamedly. "It'd be letting me have something I've wanted since sec'nd year. Generous, really."

"No," Harry shook his head. "That's just the alcohol talking. You'll regret it in the morning."

"But—but you want it," Draco pouted stubbornly. "I know you do."

"No Draco, maybe…" Harry took a deep breath to steady himself, then continued. "Maybe I do, but not this way. I want all of you Draco, not this. I—I'd better go."

Draco looked up mournfully as Harry gently released his arm from Draco's grasp and got up. "Harry?" he called tentatively, his voice soft with hope, "Do you think that, maybe you could at least, sleep with me tonight? To keep the nightmares away?"

Harry looked at Draco and smiled. How could he refuse such an angel? "Alright," he said quietly, "Just for tonight." He unbuttoned his shirt, shed his pants, and climbed into bed as Draco dove under the covers and sidled up next to Harry, laying his head on his shoulder. "Thanks 'Arry," Draco yawned as Harry smiled and slipped his arm around the blonde. Harry closed his eyes as the soft blonde hair pressed up against his face, smiling as he inhaled peppermint and cologne mingling together in the sweet scent that was Draco. He sighed contentedly and gently pressed a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips. Both fell asleep with a smile on their face.

xXxXx

Draco woke the next morning with a pounding headache. "Argh, close the blinds," he moaned. He shot straight up as his memory slowly returned to him. "Shit." He remembered kissing Harry, and Harry pushing him away, "He's gonna hate me now." Draco bit his bottom lip deeply, and the scarlet blood that fell from it contrasted with the pallor of his skin. Then he remembered dragging Harry into bed with him. Nervously, he looked over at the other side of the bed, not wanting to explain; Harry was gone.

Draco felt his heart drop and scolded himself. He didn't actually _like _Harry, and he wasn't gay either. Harry was—was just his friend. Still, he couldn't help but feel disappointed at Harry's disappearance. Frustrated at both himself and his situation, Draco bit back a sob as he picked his clothes off the floor and dragged them on. He numbly went about his morning routine, trying to ignore the stabbing feeling in his heart. Dropping down on the bed, he sunk his face into his hands, dragging them over his eyes and through his slightly damp hair, his body shaking slightly as he wiped away the tears. "I feel like I've been Stupefied when you do that," a quiet voice murmured. Draco looked up in shock from being disturbed during such a private moment. Harry stood in the doorway, a tray piled with food levitating in front of him. He set the tray down on the nightstand and climbed onto the bed, not breaking eye contact. Draco tensed as Harry sat cross-legged in front of him, and broke away, his eyes refocusing elsewhere. "I don't understand you, Draco," Harry said softly. "One day you're throwing yourself at me, the next you act as if I'm not even there."

Draco's eyes narrowed slightly. "Malfoys do not throw themselves at people, Harry. And—and I'm not sure you remember last night correctly."

"Oh, I'm sure I do, Draco," Harry murmured as he leaned forward into Draco. "Do you need a little reminder?" he smirked coyly, pressing a gentle kiss on Draco's collarbone.

"G-get away from me," Draco cried, jumping up from the bed. He was stuttering uncharacteristically, almost as badly as Quirrel. "I need to—I have a—I'm late—" Grabbing his cloak, he Apparated out with as sharp crack, and was gone.

Harry didn't understand—he'd done everything right, he tried to make Draco happy. He raked his hand through his hair, making it possibly more disheveled than it already was. With Draco there, he had felt so happy, so carefree, but now he felt hollow and empty. All because Draco had gone. He'd thought that Draco had meant what he said, that he really did like Harry. As the tears grew in his emerald eyes, Harry began to believe that it hadn't been true at all.

xXxXx

Draco sat in a quiet Muggle bar nursing a beer. "Bit early for a drink, eh?" the hostess asked, winking.

"I needed to clear my head," Draco said defensively.

"Ah, troubles with your wife?"

Draco held up his left hand, "I'm not married."

"Girlfriend, then?"

"Haven't got one."

A pause.

"Boyfriend?"

Draco's pale cheeks flushed slightly, "No!" he cried, perhaps a little too loudly.

"Alright, alright, no need to get your knickers in a twist," the hostess said, "but there is something that's got you down, isn't there?"

It may have been his inner turmoil, or the kindness of the bartender, or perhaps even the alcohol, but suddenly Draco found himself telling her everything. "And I'm not gay… I don't know why it happened. We were supposed to stay just friends, and now I've gone and fucked everything up." Draco finished, thankful for the empty bar.

The hostess looked at Draco curiously. "Y'know for someone who says they don't like boys, you sure seem like you love him. Your eyes. That's where I can see it." Draco looked down at his hands. "Just think about it, hon," she added, before walking away. Draco sat there for while fiddling around with his glass, before getting up to go home.

xXxXx

The sound of the front door closing echoed throughout the flat as Draco stepped inside. "Harry?" Draco called out. No reply. He felt a bit sick, and chalked it up to the alcohol. Sighing, Draco made his way to his room, only to find that Harry had hardly moved since he left. With his back to the door, he had curled into a fetal position and lay quietly stroking a pillow. "Harry?" Draco whispered. Stunned, he looked up. As their eyes met, Draco noticed that the green was rimmed in red. "Hey," he whispered, walking over to the bed. "I—I'm sorry Harry. I want you to know that. I shouldn't have forced myself on you, and I understand if you're upset at me for doing so. And—and when I woke up, I was so scared that I might do it again, I had to leave. You were never supposed to know how I felt. Please forgive me." Draco screwed his eyes shut to keep the tears from sliding out. He was never supposed to say things like this. It wasn't how he was raised. It wasn't how he lived, and now he knew why; he'd never felt quite so vulnerable before.

"So you were just going to pretend like you'd never felt anything for me?" Harry asked, staring at the empty pillow. Draco swallowed and nodded tightly. "And you never stopped to consider that maybe I felt the same way?"

Draco shook his head. "You wouldn't _understand_. I never would have been able to have you." Harry looked up at him, his green eyes bright.

"No Draco, _you're _the one who doesn't understand. All you had to do was ask."

Draco could feel his heart pounding in his ears. _Could he really-? Does that mean he-?_ A million thoughts ran through his head. Swallowing loudly, Draco tried to stop his hand from trembling, "H-Harry, would—would you consider, maybe, going…going out with me?" Harry's eyes grew wide before he reached up and wrapped his hand around the back of Draco's neck, pulling him into a long kiss.

"Yes," he said very seriously as they pulled apart. Draco just smiled.

xXxXx

It had taken much adjusting on the part of his friends, but they accepted and loved Harry for who he was. As Draco and Harry celebrated their three, four-, five-, and finally twelve-month anniversary, each became even more enamored with the other.

"Isn't it lovely?" Draco asked his friends, as he cupped the pendant Harry had given him for their four year anniversary.

"It's beautiful," Hermione gushed. She elbowed Ron and he nodded in agreement. Harry beamed. He'd custom-ordered the lightning bolt necklace, hoping that Draco would like it. "Why don't you wear it on the outside so everyone can see it?" Hermione asked as he tucked it back inside his shirt. Harry shook his head cautiously.

"Show them what I got you," Draco cried excitedly, a bit of forced enthusiasm seeping into his voice, "It's an heirloom," he added as Harry pointed to the necklace that hung from his neck, "Isn't it grand?" Harry smiled and pressed a kiss on the older boy's forehead.

"Mommy?" a quiet voice called.

"Yes sweetie?" Hermione got up from the kitchen table. "What is it?" She reentered, carrying the bleary-eyed Rose.

"It's okay baby," Ron said, holding out his arms. Rose wriggled out of Hermione's arms and snuggled up against her father's neck.

"Couldn't sweep," she sniffled. Harry smiled at her articulation.

"Nightmares again?" She nodded. "Don't worry; Uncle Harry and Uncle Draco are here to protect you."

She looked over and saw them for the first time. "Unca Harry! Unca Draco!" she cried, running on wobbly legs over and burying herself in Draco's arms. He smiled down at her and captured her in an embrace.

"How about Uncle Draco takes you upstairs and reads you a story?" Hermione suggested.

Rose nodded eagerly. "Unca Harry too?" she asked.

Harry laughed, "Uncle Harry'll be up in a minute." Satisfied, Rose fastened her tiny arms around Draco's neck as he rose from the table to carry her to her bedroom. "She's spoiled, that one," Harry remarked softly as he watched them leave. "She's got us all wrapped around her littlefinger."

"And doesn't she know it." Ron added laughing. "I better go make sure she doesn't try and charm Draco into getting her anything. I don't want another unicorn incident." The three smiled at the memory, when Rose had somehow coerced Draco into promising to get her a unicorn.

"Harry? You and Draco," Hermione said tentatively, "You—you've been together for a while. I can't remember ever seeing you happier than you are now. Have you thought about…" she drifted off.

Harry smiled. "I-I've been thinking about it a lot, actually. I even—"he pulled a small black box out of his pocket.

Hermione squeaked in excitement, "Let me see Harry, oh let me see!" He opened the box to reveal a smooth silver band with small letters engraved inside. "Oh, it's gorgeous Harry, what does it say?"

"For my dragon," Harry said, a blush staining his cheeks.

Hermione smiled, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "When are you going to ask him?"

"Er, I don't exactly know," Harry admitted, "I've had it for about two months. When it feels right, I'll know."

Hermione grinned as Ron entered the kitchen, "You better get in there, Harry. If she falls asleep before you get there, you'll be in huge trouble," Harry laughed softly as he turned to leave, the soft light from the kitchen gently illuminating the darkened staircase. In the dark, he nearly stumbled into Draco on the landing.

"She just fell asleep, the little angel," Draco whispered before kissing Harry's cheek.

"Wait, Draco," Harry murmured as he continued down the stairs. He turned to face Harry. "I, well, can't begin to tell you how much I love you, and how happy I am when I'm with you. I—I don't even know what I'd be like without you, Dray." Harry paused and took a deep breath. "Draco Malfoy?" he asked, bending down and placing the box in Draco's hand, looked up at him with gleaming emerald eyes, "will you marry me?"

Draco's mouth fell open as his eyes grew shiny and bright."Yes," he whispered fiercely as he rushed forward to hug Harry, who stood and grabbed Draco's right hand, sliding the ring onto his finger.

xXxXx

Only a month after, Draco was hit with a terrible curse to which the countercurse was unknown.It slowly began to kill him, draining his life away until no more was left to take. The Healers, after exhausting all possible options, were forced to sit back and watch him die.

"You'll get better, I know you will," Harry whispered on his first visit. It was comfort for both of them, despite how untrue it was. "Only a week or two in here, and you'll be all better, and we can go back to planning. Besides, I don't mind waiting a bit at your bedside."

_More like my deathbed, _Draco thought bitterly. He grew tired of the pain—the pain from the curse, and the pain that was reflected on the faces of his friends and family. His mother burst out crying, and had to be led from the room by his father; Ron and Hermione only visited twice, saying that Rose desperately needed them or were otherwise occupied; Harry was the only one who stayed.

As he grew sicker and sicker, Draco tried to tell Harry to leave—to find someone better, someone who would be able to love him—but his body refused to cooperate. It was simply too much effort for Draco to even utter a word.

"It's nearly your birthday," Draco heard Harry say through the persistent fog, "What shall we do? Remember the year we went to a Quidditch game, and your dad got us a private box…" Harry shook himself out of the memory. "I love you, Draco," he whispered, kissing away the tears that slipped out from under the blonde's closed eyelids.

The next day, Harry stopped by with a chocolate cake, "Surprise!" he cried with a small smile, "I know its early, but I was on my way here and I saw it in the bakery window, and I remembered how much you liked it last time so…"Harry stopped and set the cake down on a table. Draco looked even paler than usual, his lips appearing almost blue. "Draco?" he whispered, reaching out to touch him. Draco's skin was cold. "Draco?" Harry cried franticly, pushing away the blankets to search for his fiancée's heartbeat. Harry laid his head on the blonde's chest, listening in vain for any sign of life. Nothing. "No!" Harry screamed, "This wasn't supposed to happen! You were supposed to get better! We were going to get married. I don't know what I'm supposed to do without you…"

xXxXx

Draco was laid to rest in a wizarding cemetery, not far from the flat that he and Harry had shared, in front of his closest friends and family. He was buried in his finest attire, including the necklace Harry'd given him, his engagement ring, and the wedding band that Harry had bought shortly after proposing. _He would have liked that, _Harry thought, fighting back tears as he stared at the two gleaming bands on Draco's fingers.

xXxXx

Twenty-seven years later, Harry was buried next to him, a matching ring on his left hand.

Those who knew him best said he died of a broken heart that never fully healed.


End file.
